Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Im currently not in the mood to study but in the mood to go online. However, I dont feel like chatting but my internet is moving in a very very slow speed. How slow? erm... As slow as the snail perhaps? Seriously, if u were to be in my shoes and uses my TMnet line, Im not surprise u'll be swearing ur lungs out in minutes. Wanna try? XD Anyway, my life had really took a turning point after I entered college. I thought that after entering NS, my life will change and it did but it was not as great as after I entered college. Well that's cause I have more freedom and its like im enjoying my college life by the minute. Seriously man! Its like even if the day doesnt go really well or as good as I thought it would (in short bad day) there's still a small thing or wo which will like cheer my mood up. It was really like the idiom that goes in every dark cloud there's a silver lining. I think I can say that the last time I felt so great about going to study was when I am in form 2. It was quite long ago huh? That is cause from 15yrs old until 17yrs old, the only thing that I was always looking for was tuition class. Why? erm... Cause of my very first boyfriend. But we didnt ended up good though. Ok... Let's not talked about that issue. What's in the past, let it be. Now the main point is the present and future. Yeah!! Now that's what keeps my life interesting. XD In my previous blog, I did blurted out that I had a crush on a guy right? Well... I think I wont talk much about that. Just in case my classmates read my blog. =X Anyway, I am seriously enjoying my life now and Im not complaining on anything at all man! XD I love my life!!! ^^V

what a day >.<

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

After sacrificying most of my precious time on getting my computer studies assignment done, the day has finally come. The day when my group need to present what we had done to the lecturer. The day when i finally get to rest and not worry about coding. The day when everything has come to an end where i no longer bury my face on the computer and the green colour visual basic 6.0 book. What a relieve. Im not being sarcastic here i tell u. It's true. It's nothing but the one and only truth. It's real. Seriously, to create coding for a project is like the toughest thing ever man. Imagine writing a program in assembly language. It'll be like holy shit!!! Is that even humanly possible? duh! If that wasn't possible, i wont be facing my laptop right now with my butt glued to the chair and blogging this ridiculous (call it whatever u want, i dont care) post/ blog. However I'm glad that its finally over, get to do things that i should do. Exam is just 2 weeks in advance. Holy! and I havent even done my pass years... Shit!!! yes, ppl. Im going to face the worst hell in 2 weeks time. In 2 short freaking weeks!! yes, u hear me correctly or should i say u read it correctly? whatever. I'm still gonna face this nightmare anyway. This is like a matter of life and death you know. Again I'm not being sarcastic here. I'm telling the truth. It is a matter of life and death for me cause It-all-about-the-$$$!!! Yeah... If i fail, my money will grow wings and will fly~~~ ^$^ that time the money will be like "I spread my wings and i learn how to fly~ do what I'll do to reach for college~" that time I'll be like holy shit, dude!!! -.-"

happy happy day~~~ ^^V

Thursday, August 14, 2008

At first I thought that this day is going to be like any other days which I consider normal or if im unlucky enough, today might have been like yesterday, wednesday aka madnessday. seriously, it was a typical madnessday where there was nothing but madness filling up those 24 hours of my life... ok fine. Maybe its not fully 24 hours but more than 12 hours. who cares? I'll still be calling it the madnessday... Yes, ppl... believe it or not. I had gone tru a madnessday and erm... If my memory was not fooling me, I think i had just went through a madnessday last week... which day was it? erm... it was thursday i think.Ya! It WAS indeed last thursday. Why? well... I'll tell u why... Dont worry... Patience is a virtue. I'm getting to it... The reasonS (more than one FYI) are firstly, the coding for a form which I did for 5 long tiring hours was deleted by accident due to number 1. my pendrive got infected by virus and secondly I copy and paste the project using the wrong way causing it to boom!!! gone in seconds. *shake head* and the second reason it was a madnessday was... erm... well... Somebody said some awful lot of hurtful words to me which stab me in my heart deep... I dont know whether is it for real or what but it was seriously hurtful.

Anyway, today was a WAY happier day. Why? cause after such long torturing days and hours of writing and "inventing" coding, my assignment (the coding part) was finally done!!! waha!! Now that's the good news which make me so happy 2day... wwwee!!! Life rules when one of the days had run smoothly. Seriously man!!! XD

Sunday, August 3, 2008

I looked out from the window. Grey clouds filled the sky with strong wind blowing, sweeping off anything that was on the street. Flashes of lightning appeared everynow and then. I sighed with relieved knowing that I was safely protected at home. At that time, memories began to swim across my mind. I remembered that there was once I ran happily along the road after I got down from the car when I felt the strong wind blew. I was so delighted when the wind touched my face, that feeling was undescribable. However, it was not a very healthy thing to do because when the strong wind was blowing, dust and other dirty minute particles were mixed into the wind. So you could possibly imagine how dirty I was after running like a mad person on the road like that although it was not visible.

I laughed softly after I brought myself back to reality thinking how silly I was at that time. After awhile, rain began pouring down. Rain drops rolled down the window paint one after another. At that time, a story began to form in my head.

Jane stood in the rain feeling numb as she looked at Justin walking with an anonymous girl. They were sharing a umbrella giggling as they looked at each other in a way that Jane knew he never looked at her in such way before. There was so much love and burning passion in the both of them. Tears began to roll down her cheeks mixing with the rain drops. She was holding a umbrella but she was too numb to feel the coldness of her surrounding. In her eyes, she saw only that couple and nothing else. She continue staring at them as they slowly dissapeared. Even after they were already out of her sight, she still could not bring herself to reality or maybe she refuse to bring herself to reality. She was hoping so much that what she saw was just a dream. Sadly, as she slowly felt the rain touching her bared skin and soaked clothes, she knew that it was not a dream but real. Why? How could he do this to her? After being together for so many years, how could he has the heart to cheat on her. She was too shocked to have her common sense fighting back for her strength. She was too weak to continue watching as the pictures of the couple kept flashing cross her mind. She was too down to think. All she ever wanted right now were answers to her questions but sadly, her body was too weak to move and seek for the answers until she saw nothing but darkness slowly surrounded her.

When June opened her eyes, she was already lying on a hospital bed. She tried to recall what happened and those images of the couple haunted her again. She leaned back on the pillow weakly trying to fight back those images but it was no use. She sighed sadly and tears began to flow down her soft cheeks which had her ended up crying with all her heart.
June was hospitalised for weeks. And during that time, she ate a little but slowly tried to gather the courage for her to forget that horrible incident. She tried to move on and tried to stand firm mentally but it was barely effective. However during her stay, she did make a few friends there who always gave her endless support and courage. They always make sure that she was not alone and tried ways to kept her occupied so that she would not the time to think about that night again.
Months had past and June had changed. She was no longer the girl with the pale looking face who stood in the middle of the road like a living corpse. There was such shine in her eyes which was priceless and the smile that she wore on her face was brighter than before. June had become stronger and more optimistic as compared to her old self. She was happy and satisfied with who she had become today. A woman who no longer feared of love and its consiquences. It was from

the help of her friends and her own determination that made her bear the fruit of the hopeless seed in her.

What do u think? retarded? i know... Inspiration suddenly came and passed like wind. So cant blame me for it XD

Im sorry

Friday, August 1, 2008

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry for making this decision...

I'm sorry for I am not serious in trying to make it better...

I'm sorry I am not ready for commitment...

I'm sorry that I am not ready for a relationship...

I didn't do this purposely... I didn't expect it would turn out this way... Actually if we were to cont it down, it is not possible but will u want a relationship that is filled with lies, pretendings and empty sweet promises? Even if u wont know, what happens when u find out? the longer i drag the truth from u, the more u'll surfer... now I know without a doubt that I have hurt u... There is a saying that goes "the truth hurts"... But it will heal from time... atleast now the wound that I have made from my action will not be as deep as if i drag it on...

Delcious Icecream


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