I have found my silver lining!!! ^^

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

ok... some of u might have felt curious about my title for this new blog or maybe curious bout the caption i wrote in one of my pics in frenster... well... *ahem* *clear troat* i think most of u all must have heard of the idiom that goes "in every dark cloud, there is a silver lining"... that is the silver lining that im refering to... why? thats because... 3 months ago, my life was like a living hell after a certain incident happened (wanna know bout it? maybe reading my previous blogs can help) I was like a zombie... all my happiness and smiles had been drained out from my body... so does my soul... I was lifeless... only dark clouds surrounded me... I felt like i was in a total darkness... but thanks to my frens who had been there for me... my life wasnt that bad.. it was brighten up by abit... that, my fellow readers, was the dark cloud that i was in... until i went to ns... I met lots of frens there... guys and girls.... it somehow opened my mind... retrieve my soul... i felt happy and was never lonely... i always have frens surrounded me... help me when im in trouble.. cheer me up when im down... we were like a family there... =)

besides that, i have found someone... someone who had change my point of view on certain issues... like the one that i had faced... the one that caused dark clouds to surround my life... He was there... trying to tell me... trying to help me open up my mind... at first, i refuse... eventhough i admit, i have feelings for him, i try to keep it hidden... because i fear to feel the pain again.. fear to suffer again... I thought I could stop that feeling from growing but the more i tried the deeper i sunk into it... Finally, i gav up... because to deny that feeling was very hard to do and the pain that i have caused him was the worst mistake that I have ever done... during that time, my heart ached everytime I looked at him... his expression that reviewed nothing but disspointment, sadness and pain... I tried to ignore but failed... So only i decided to try like what he suggested... and to my surprise, it turned out a better and totally unexpected 'result'... I was happy and jumped with joy for i didnt expect this to turn out to be good... now, my life has changed from the worse to the better... without the feeling of loneliness like i used to felt... without the dark clouds hanging above me wherever i go... Instead, I know that when i needed someone there for me, he without a doubt will always be by my side... I no longer feel lonely... I have finally managed to stand up steadily after that incident...

I have managed to write my own story... direct my own movie... and no longer become the audience or the spectator that just sits there and admire others' successful movie making... Its time for others to admire my life, my movie, my story...

Yes... i have lead a much happier life now and also i have found that silver lining that i have been waiting for throughout these times that have helped me gotten rid of my dark clouds... ^^

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